Is there anything that disturbs your inner peace? How do you deal with it and release it?
I've come to some realizations lately that I have let people into my life that are not in alignment with who I am. I've allowed them to take from me without contributing anything but hurt. I realize that "hurt people hurt people", but what do you do when it's someone in your family?
Here are some things I'm working on to heal and return to inner peace. First of all is forgiveness. Boy is it a big one and is it difficult! I am choosing love, love for myself first. Love for this person, because I realize that they have some deep wounds. They may not have the tools, may not want to do the inner work, or may not be willing to change. Secondly, I choose appreciation. I appreciate that I am finally learning that I don't need this person's approval, love, or presence in my life or choices. I have felt unworthy, undeserving and just plain unseen by this person. The truth is though that I am worthy, worthy of my own love & approval. I am deserving, deserving of love, abundance, & joy. I am seen, I can choose when I want the spotlight on me.
Will I cut this person out of my life? That's a tough one. I do not wish ill will, or anything negative to befall them. In fact, I wish clarity & healing for them. I don't think I will cut this person out. Simply because they don't have a huge part in my life now. Since it's a family member, I will more than likely see them at family functions. But we live far enough apart that I do not have to think about it often. I don't plan on being rude. I will allow them to be a spectator to my successes, but they will not have any influence on how I view my life. I will no longer wait for an approval, or a response for that matter.
So what's next? I will continue to do the work on myself. I will work to find out why it took so long for me to see my own beauty & value without needing the approval of others. I will work to continue to heal. I will meditate & journal on these things because I know it isn't something that happens over night, nor is it a one time thing. Memories will happen to bring the hurt back to the front of mind. It's what you do when this happens that determines how the healing process will go. You have choices on how to respond and if you allow words & actions of this person/these people to affect your own actions & thoughts.
I hope this has helped you in moving forward from wounds. I am a great listener and would love to help anyone reading this in any way I can to move through a toxic relationship.